my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
