im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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