i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
