Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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