I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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