I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We need to get me chipped asap
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
