Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!