she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
