i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
