I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
