woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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