Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize