we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
