How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
