Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
