don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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