this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
