By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
