i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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