so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i love accidental penises.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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