I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
