This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
