Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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