Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
