And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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