i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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