Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish I could teleport
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
