I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
