fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My vagina just recognized that song.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
