I CAN MOONWALK!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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