I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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