Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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