So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
