Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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