Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
