i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
