I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
