I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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