he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
