two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my being single is dangerous.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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