I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
