I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
