i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
