yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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