I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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