Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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