Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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