5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
