Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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