The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my shit smells like andre
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
