she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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