Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pants are for mortals
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
