My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
