Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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