I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
