If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
