His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
