You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
