I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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